Monday, February 1

Exclusively Raj !

Raj Thackerey had employed a senior research scientist from MIT , who made a ground-breaking revelation ( Only for Indians ) : a Bengali has a different DNA structure from that of his Gujrati neighbour and Marathi wife. D-day for shiv-sena(or whatever sena,keep forgetting the name of his new party).Well more of a nightmare than a dream , but thats what i had last night. Penned it down for keeping a memoir of such an exclusively intangible reality or an alternate and impossible future.

Raj Thackerey becomes the Prime minister of our secular country . He deploys his newly formed bureau-Indian states traffic control organization ,seals borders of each individual state, keeps DNA-check toll booth in all the borders ,starts the usage of inter-state passports and initiates a chain of cultural, economical and god knows what other changes in the country .Heres some that come into my innocently ugly mind.

1. Chetan Bhagat is in jail. "2 states" Huh ?? Outrageous ! Preaching inter-state matrimony is a crime.

2. Jyoti Basu dies. CPIM top notch Prakash and Brinda Karat taken into custody for paying a visit to the dying comrade without providing prior information to the authority.

3. Nit s expand their state intake to 100 % and national intake reduced to 0%, no more Gulti`s in Bengal , no more mukherjees in Trichy.

4. No more Durga pujo pandals outside Bengal. Abhijeet (the overhyped singer) taken into custody for initiating a durgo pujo in the heart of mumbai itself, playing with meat in the tigers den .

5. Price of rasogollas hiked to Rs. 10 / piece ( all halwais sent back to Bihar)

6. Mamata Banerjee made the supremo of west bengal. remember Ratan Non-bong Tata ?? What happened to Singur impressed the Thackereys.

7.Bansal classes in Kota closed. Intake from other states stopped.

8. Shreya Ghosal, Shaan jailed for not singing in her mother tongue , but in hindi.

9. Rickshaws are extinct in Bengal.99% rickshaw pullers were from Bihar.

10. Shahrukh Khan turned for questioning , Usage of improper Bengali in front of 1 lakh janta in eden."Haamra Karbo ladbo jitbo re"

11. Subtitles banned for regional films. If you dont know the language , theres no point in watching it.

12.Akshay Kumar taken under custody for feigning a false name and title ( bhatia = punjab), nitish kumar = Bihar, Dilip kumar =???

13.Meer taken into custody for mimicry of Shiv-sena supremo.

14.Mumbai is the new capital of India.

15. Roaming charges for mobile users tripled.

16. Aamir Khan jailed for making a film on Raj and sena. Name : Raj-ni

17. Frito- lays increase their cost of chips from 20 to 40. inter -state potato transfer forum demanding 100% tariff.

18.Chhat pujo banned in bengal. 10 Non-bongs caught red-handed in a lake in kol. doing with the rituals.

19.Governers to be elected from the state itself.

20. Sonia Gandhi and family in deep shit-hole trying to figure out which state they belong to .

21. the commercial video "mile sur mera tumhara " banned in all television channels , the people in the video put under house arrest.

22. Royal bengal tiger is no more the national animal, so is the peacock the national bird. The maratha government in search of a exclusive maratha animal and bird.

23. Shivaji is the new Father of the nation. Rajnikant put to jail for acting in a non-marathi film named after the father of our nation.

22. No more Neha`s, Priti`s,Sonam`s . shift of amoural liasions to all the mitas, ritas, shrees pornas...

Not that i am out of ideas.

Im out of courage . My laptop prides in having a sticker just beside its keypad which proudly boasts a "Marketed in india under acer industries Mumbai...." emblem.

You could fill in some ideas or comments.Thankfully, Blogger wasnt MADE IN INDIA.

3 comments:

Stupid Common Man said...

It's a nicely put series of events that could possibly follow..
But I have a feeling things like this would still happen if our rail minister was made the prime minister of India..

monami chakraborty said...

Humorous.I hope u never bump into any Maharashtra sev sena party.good luck

monami chakraborty said...

Humorous.I hope u never bump into any Maharashtra sev sena party.good luck