Saturday, February 6
What happens to a person who is illiterate but madly in love with someone else?Who comes to his rescue?One who is empty of words to express his desire has to lose to some Angreji babu ??No.... Cause DOG Ahhhh... i am sorry GOD comes running for assistance.Love is not bound by any linguistic barrier.Cause then Riju would have never been the husband of Ana .Here s a memorable story of the Desi Cannabie who married an english teacher Cannabie , a friend who betrayed another, and of DOG ...ahhh there again Sorry blokes ....GOD obviously .... in G-style. Note that it takes place before the advent of inspector Manish Dubey.
For Riju it was love at first sight,he confessed this to his best friend I-Gunda on the first day itself.The Green paar HOLDE saari and the Anglicized Hindi of Ana seemed to cut through his heart.He wanted to learn english .He wanted to make Ana his bride.But alas he was only a good for nothing cannabie.He asked I-gunda who knew a little bit of english ,but flaunted of it in the whole G-para ,to write a letter for him on the eve of V-day, to express his emotion to Ana.But as his name suggests I - gunda was evil. He was always jealous of riju`s personality ,his charm and green muscular dilineation. So I- gunda thought` What a chance to insult riju and forfeit his amoural desires forever ?? ` He wrote a letter in G-style.This is what he had written-
" Dearest Ana,
As......... I am yours forever and ever......
This is something i will never say.
I will never hold your hand when you are alone.
Whenever i sleep ....
I take your name,inhale your fragrance,lose myself to that dark hair of yours
Dont you think so??
Cause If you do, you are so wrong.
Do You think i will leave you in the crossroads of life?
Do You think i will let you cry ,let you ever feel the pain of separation?
You are so right about it.
If you think i lose myself completely in those greenish eyes of yours.....
You must have lost your mind.
You are asking me " Is there someone else in my life??"
Its great you figured it out.
Thank God !! I am, sort of relieved.
I also had an inkling that you wanted to be my Valentine ??
I came to know that you think i want to go on a date with you?
This is the biggest joke i have ever laughed at.
What made you think so ?
You think i am dating a girl more attractive than you ?
Actually I am.
Am i thinking what will you feel about me after reading this?
I GIVE A DAMN !!
And for the rest of the world
I have never cared about it.
I dont care whether You will ever love me....
This is the first time i am saying this to you isnt it ??
I hope you enjoy this precise moment throughout your life.
I will forget you , i ll forget your face, your heart that you gave me.
cause i was lying that day when i said
I love you and will love you till my last breath ....... "
I-gunda was full of pride at his creativity of writing such out-of the box Hatred letter in G-style.He gave it to ana saying that Riju had written it for her. He was jubiliant to see Ana`s face contort with hatred as she read through the letter. but.....picture abhi baaki hain mere dost.
The world is a strange place, love is presumably more complex and stranger than it. Love turns the world upside-down... makes a guy write something what he never meant. Then DOG ,sorry GOD comes running for help.And whispers into that beautiful G- girl`s ears ,
"My dear kid, In love ...all you have to do is... to retrace your path along these words in order to get his real perception towards you" The girl seemed confused.
" What are you trying to say ,God ji ?"
"Idiot ! read the letter backwards,Love is blind ,it can take any path which moves forward or lead back. Depends on you to choose which one you want to tread ....Pyaar andha hota hain Ana beti...."
The rest what they say was written in the stars...
And obviously in.... G-style.
But did riju- ana live together forever ????
to be continued.....
PS: maybe this is one of the most creative blogs that i have written,if not the best grammatically...who cares bout the grammar when its written in G-style??
Monday, February 1
Raj Thackerey had employed a senior research scientist from MIT , who made a ground-breaking revelation ( Only for Indians ) : a Bengali has a different DNA structure from that of his Gujrati neighbour and Marathi wife. D-day for shiv-sena(or whatever sena,keep forgetting the name of his new party).Well more of a nightmare than a dream , but thats what i had last night. Penned it down for keeping a memoir of such an exclusively intangible reality or an alternate and impossible future.
Raj Thackerey becomes the Prime minister of our secular country . He deploys his newly formed bureau-Indian states traffic control organization ,seals borders of each individual state, keeps DNA-check toll booth in all the borders ,starts the usage of inter-state passports and initiates a chain of cultural, economical and god knows what other changes in the country .Heres some that come into my innocently ugly mind.
1. Chetan Bhagat is in jail. "2 states" Huh ?? Outrageous ! Preaching inter-state matrimony is a crime.
2. Jyoti Basu dies. CPIM top notch Prakash and Brinda Karat taken into custody for paying a visit to the dying comrade without providing prior information to the authority.
3. Nit s expand their state intake to 100 % and national intake reduced to 0%, no more Gulti`s in Bengal , no more mukherjees in Trichy.
4. No more Durga pujo pandals outside Bengal. Abhijeet (the overhyped singer) taken into custody for initiating a durgo pujo in the heart of mumbai itself, playing with meat in the tigers den .
5. Price of rasogollas hiked to Rs. 10 / piece ( all halwais sent back to Bihar)
6. Mamata Banerjee made the supremo of west bengal. remember Ratan Non-bong Tata ?? What happened to Singur impressed the Thackereys.
7.Bansal classes in Kota closed. Intake from other states stopped.
8. Shreya Ghosal, Shaan jailed for not singing in her mother tongue , but in hindi.
9. Rickshaws are extinct in Bengal.99% rickshaw pullers were from Bihar.
10. Shahrukh Khan turned for questioning , Usage of improper Bengali in front of 1 lakh janta in eden."Haamra Karbo ladbo jitbo re"
11. Subtitles banned for regional films. If you dont know the language , theres no point in watching it.
12.Akshay Kumar taken under custody for feigning a false name and title ( bhatia = punjab), nitish kumar = Bihar, Dilip kumar =???
13.Meer taken into custody for mimicry of Shiv-sena supremo.
14.Mumbai is the new capital of India.
15. Roaming charges for mobile users tripled.
16. Aamir Khan jailed for making a film on Raj and sena. Name : Raj-ni
17. Frito- lays increase their cost of chips from 20 to 40. inter -state potato transfer forum demanding 100% tariff.
18.Chhat pujo banned in bengal. 10 Non-bongs caught red-handed in a lake in kol. doing with the rituals.
19.Governers to be elected from the state itself.
20. Sonia Gandhi and family in deep shit-hole trying to figure out which state they belong to .
21. the commercial video "mile sur mera tumhara " banned in all television channels , the people in the video put under house arrest.
22. Royal bengal tiger is no more the national animal, so is the peacock the national bird. The maratha government in search of a exclusive maratha animal and bird.
23. Shivaji is the new Father of the nation. Rajnikant put to jail for acting in a non-marathi film named after the father of our nation.
22. No more Neha`s, Priti`s,Sonam`s . shift of amoural liasions to all the mitas, ritas, shrees pornas...
Not that i am out of ideas.
Im out of courage . My laptop prides in having a sticker just beside its keypad which proudly boasts a "Marketed in india under acer industries Mumbai...." emblem.
You could fill in some ideas or comments.Thankfully, Blogger wasnt MADE IN INDIA.